On Wednesday morning, Josh received a letter from Esther Hoddy; Evalyn met Carolyn Curry in the park; Pete said he'd handle the regular prayer meeting; and Debbie Fiedler asked for an appointment.
* * *
Dear Reverend Felton,
We appreciate your giving up the idea of reading humanistic stories in church. Studying about Jesus seems so much more appropriate and edifying.
However, we of the Women's Benevolent urge you not to make changes in our beautiful services. It seemed very wrong not to have had the offering taken Sunday night, nor to sing the final hymn. It left us feeling a little empty and unfulfilled.
We'll pray for you, and I'm sure you will see the value of our wonderful traditions.
In love, /s/ Esther Hoddy, for WBS
***
The meeting in the park was awkward. Carolyn hadn't slept much during the night, and when Evalyn walked by the house she followed her and caught up with her just as they reached the green.
"Mrs. Felton, can we talk a minute?"
Evalyn turned at the unfamiliar voice. "Oh, Mrs. Curry. Sure. Shall we sit down? By the way, it's Evalyn, not Mrs. Felton."
"Oh, okay, Evalyn. Then I'm Carolyn."
It was still early, and the older kids were in school, so the park was pretty quiet. They watched a squirrel and two starlings looking for scraps, or new handouts.
"We were at the service Sunday night, Mrs... er, Evalyn."
"I didn't see you, but there were so many people. You're usually there, I know."
"Yes, and Herb, too." She paused, and Evalyn waited. "Evalyn, what's going on at the church? I don't understand any of it. Herb says it could ruin the church, but I don't know what's happening. It seems drastic - I feel so upset. I mean, we've been in the church a long time, and it's always been such a peaceful place. With Vicki gone, I've... Well, I don't seem to have much peace!"
When Carolyn said that Herb thought the church could be ruined, Evalyn had felt that same stab of fear she had felt when Josh had relayed Paul's warning. That fear was almost forgotten now, replaced by a deep compassion for this obviously very unhappy woman.
"Oh, Carolyn, we wouldn't hurt you or anyone else! All we're trying to do is open up lives so that the church can be even better than it has been. Josh and I feel that God wants to do much more for every one of us. We think He wants to make our lives more peaceful and more meaningful than they are. There are such tremendous possibilities!"
Carolyn was crying now. "But how can that happen? Being in church, in the quiet and peace, helps me forget about Vicki for a little while - helps me stop worrying about what awful things are happening to her. But just as soon as we leave, it all comes right back!"
Evalyn put her arms around the other woman, and held her. Carolyn continued to sob.
"Herb won't talk about it. He says we don't have a daughter, anymore. And that makes it all hurt so much more!"
"Oh, I'm sure he doesn't really mean that, Carolyn. I bet he hurts just as badly as you do, but he can't bring himself to admit it. You both need the Holy Spirit to help you handle this terrible burden."
Carolyn eased out of Evalyn's arms, and daubed at her eyes with a tissue. "You don't understand. We're both Christians, already."
"Oh, I know you are, Carolyn. But you see, Josh and I were, too. We'd been in churches all our lives, and in training and in the ministry. But now we see that God - who has already been so good to us - has even more to offer us. We know now that He wants the Holy Spirit to be our comforter, our source of peace and assurance every day. We want you and the others in the church to discover that with us."
"Oh, God, if that were only true!"
"It is, Carolyn. I know it is."
***
Pete had called at midmorning to say that he and Donna were "with them," whatever that meant. Josh thanked him, and said that they'd all just have to get on with the game to figure out what it meant. He then asked Pete if he could handle the Wednesday prayer meet. Pete could, and would.
***
Debbie Fiedler called just after Pete, and came over just as Evalyn was returning from her meeting in the park. All three sat down together in the living room.
Debbie was a relative newcomer to the church, and to the city also, Josh thought. She was young (upper 20's?), very pretty, and apparently single. He had no idea where she lived or worked. Their contact to date had been exchanged smiles and handshakes in the foyer after church.
She didn't waste any time getting to business.
"Reverend Felton - and Mrs. Felton - I've only been in Portland a few months, and I don't know many people here. I've been awfully lonely. I guess partly because of that, I've got myself into a situation I'm not very proud of. That's not an excuse - there isn't any excuse - it's just how it is."
She stopped to check their reactions. Josh only said that, yes, it could happen that way, all right. Evalyn nodded in general encouragement.
"Well, I got involved with a married man. He's been nice to me and, as I said, I've been awfully lonely. I like him a lot, but I don't think I really love him, and I don't think he really loves me. It's just something that happened - that we let happen. The bad part - or what I've been thinking was the bad part - is that I got pregnant."
A bell went off in Josh's head, and he had to exercise his will-power not to do an obvious double-take. He nodded, understandingly. "That can happen, too, unfortunately."
She winced at that.
"I'm sorry," Josh said, when he quickly realized how that must have sounded. "I wasn't trying to be flippant. It much be very difficult for you."
She didn’t break down, but tears appeared at the corners of her eyes.
" It is, and I don't know what I'm going to do! But the funny thing is, until Sunday night I was just feeling sorry for myself, kicking myself for being so stupid. Now it's worse because I'm thinking about Bob... er, about my friend and his wife and family. What have I been doing to her, and what did she do to deserve it?"
She took out her handkerchief to check the falling tears.
"You mentioned Sunday night," Evalyn prompted.
Debbie put down the handkerchief, and tried a small smile. "Yes, Sunday night. I should tell you that I am a Christian, but I'm not a very strong one or a very smart one, I guess. If I was... Anyway, Reverend Felton, when you talked about doing what Jesus would do, I really felt something. I knew that I had to do something to straighten this all out for everybody."
Josh felt his eyes misting up, and Evalyn impulsively reached out to grab Debbie's hand.
"The thing is, I don't know what to do. Well, I did one thing, already; I quit work. We work at the same place, and it seemed like the right thing to do for a start, but what else? It's all so muddled, particularly with the baby involved."
She looked from one to the other, pleadingly. Evalyn squeezed her hand. Tears were rolling down Josh's face, but he made no attempt to wipe them away. He reached for Debbie's other hand, and she grabbed onto the offered support. Now all three were crying freely.
"Oh, dear Lord!" cried Josh, "Thank You for touching this young woman. Thank You for bringing her to us, and for the urge You've given her to right wrongs. Thank You for bringing her out of herself to see the hurts and needs of others. Touch her now, and open her to Your Holy Spirit, so she can see her way."
His voice trailed off, and he heard someone whispering "Jesus, Jesus" in his ear. Evalyn was humming - no, singing - something soft and very beautiful. Someone's tears were hitting his skin, but they felt more like fire than water. Someone had apparently turned on the light, because he could see new brightness beyond his tightly closed eyes.
Then everything was still, again, and his eyes were open. The light wasn't on. He still held one of Debbie's hands, and she and Evalyn were locked in a tight embrace, tears streaming down both of their faces.
"I love you, Debbie," Evalyn whispered.
"I love you, too. Both of you."
Josh continued to squeeze her hand, and he grinned so hard his face hurt.
***
After Debbie was gone, they sat on the couch together, his arm around her and their eyes closed. Neither spoke for a long time.
“That was something!" Josh exclaimed, finally.
"It was something, all right!"
"Who was whispering 'Jesus, Jesus'?"
She opened her eyes and sat up with a start. "What do you mean, who? You were, and you certainly weren't whispering!"
"I was?"
"You certainly were. Didn't you know, really?"
He shook his head, "And that song you were singing; what was it?"
She smiled, and shook her head. "I don't know. But it was great, wasn't it?"
"It was beautiful."
They were quiet again for some time.
"Josh, that was really special, wasn't it?"
"Special, and beautiful, and very, very scary in a way. I think God took control of the whole situation for a while, there."
"That's good, isn't it?"
He took hold of both of her hands, and squeezed them gently. "Yes, that's very good. I just wonder what happens next."
But then the kids were home from school, and they didn't talk any more about the prayer or about Debbie. Evalyn had forgotten for the moment the meeting in the park.
***
The first Wednesday night prayer meeting following summer break was usually lightly attended. This one was no exception, but there were a few more people than Pete expected. Donna had stayed at home. Most of the regulars from the youth group were there, as college didn't start for another couple of weeks. Five of them waited around after the service was over, then all tackled Pete at once.
"Did you hear about Sunday?" asked Ricky Galloway.
“Two Sundays", corrected Greg Brown.
"Wait!" Pete objected. "Shouldn't you first ask me how my vacation went?"
"Oh, sure", said Ricky. "But this is really important."
"Okay, then the answer is yes, I did hear about the two Sundays. But, hey, you guys were there, and I wasn't. What do you think about it?"
Nobody spoke.
"Okay, then, let's talk about my vacation. We went... "
"Wait!" screeched Ricky. "Okay, we'll play."
"Go for it."
"It was weird."
"Very descriptive and enlightening, I must say."
"Come on, Ricky," chimed in Charley Stevens.
"Well, it was!"
"Okay, girls have struck out," said Pete. He gestured toward Greg, Bob, and Tony. "How about the guys?”
"Well, actually,” began Tony, "Ricky's not wrong. It was weird."
"We're not getting anywhere, folks. How weird?"
"Well, for one thing, he said that he hadn't been a good pastor."
"No, he didn't!" objected Bob and Charley, simultaneously.
"Yes, he did," responded Tony and Ricky.
"All right, did he or didn't he? Greg, what do you think?"
"What he said, Pete, was that he didn't think he had been teaching us enough, because he didn't know enough."
"Yeah," confirmed Bob. "And he said that he thought we could be better Christians."
"My folks thought he said that some of us were lousy Christians," said Tony.
"He didn't say that!" exclaimed Charley. "I don't think he even meant we weren't good Christians. I think he was saying that God could do more for us."
"How?" asked Pete.
"Hey, I don't know. I'm just a kid. But it sounded like we could be asking for more - that we'd get more help if we asked for it."
"And does that sound like anything else you've been hearing?"
“Well, it's in different words," said Bob. "But it sounds like your and Donna's ‘personal relationship with God' talk."
"You got it, Bob, I think that's very much what Pastor Josh is talking about. He's saying that we don't need to rely entirely on the words written down in the Bible for our answers. We can also talk directly to God."
"Now, that is weird!" exclaimed Ricky.
"Only because we're not used to thinking of God as being right here, right now. We know He's all around us, but we don't really think of Him as a friend that we can talk directly to."
"Talk to?" Tony obviously wasn't impressed. "And is He going to talk back to us, like with real words?"
"What do you think?"
"I never heard him."
"Did you ever listen?"
Tony shrugged. Pete continued. "I don't think I've heard Him, either, not in the sense of hearing a really clear answer, But I'm thinking maybe we should be asking more definitely, and then listening more clearly."
"So, are you going to do it - I mean, 'take the pledge'?" asked Greg.
"Well, I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do. Donna and I are doing what Pastor Josh suggested: we're praying about it."
"I guess we should, too," said Charley.
"Couldn't hurt."
"Well, I know my folks aren't happy about this," said Tony.
***
It was bedtime before Josh and Evalyn had another chance to talk about the day's events.
"I think we've found out some more about the George and JoAnne story."
"You mean Debbie and Bob Hoffmann? I thought so, too, Josh, but she didn't say she'd written you any note."
"No, but I still think I'm right. Not just the coincidence, but - I don't know - I just feel it."
Evalyn frowned. "That means that we've had the whole triangle right in church. That's sad. I mean, it would be sad, anyway, but to think of Mrs. Hoffmann and Debbie being in the same church services while... Well, while everything was going on."
Josh took time to respond. "The sad thing to me is that I've always thought of our congregation as... Well, not as having no problems, because obviously there are problems. But I guess when I think of problems, I think of the Allens out of work, no food on the table, no money, sickness. I've never thought - or at least admitted - that there might be ‘secret sins.’ It seems like we should be able to see or sense those kinds of things in the congregation."
"Maybe we should, but remember that we don't really know these people. I don't even know Mrs. Hoffmann's first name, even though they've been coming to the church for quite some time."
"Maybe that's the problem. Are we getting too big when we don't know the names of the people in our church? Are we really pastors, anymore?”
Evalyn edged over closer to him in the bed. "I think we already answered that one: with a yes, we are pastors, but with a no, we haven't been complete pastors. Isn't that what this is all about?"
Her head was on his chest, and he stroked her hair absently. "I suppose so. But I still wonder how one reacts personally with everybody in the church. Even doing it the ‘new way,’ it doesn't look like there's enough of us."
"Maybe that's part of the answer, too. Maybe we (you and I) don't have to do all the helping. Maybe God has some other ideas."
They thought about that in silence for a while. Josh reached over and turned out the lamp.
"Another thing happened today, Josh, that I haven't told you about."
He switched the light back on. "Do I want to hear it?"
"Probably not all of it, but you need to." She recounted her meeting with Carolyn Curry.
"She didn't actually say it, but I got the feeling that there had been some kind of meeting about Sunday night. I don't know with whom, but it sounded like she and Herb had been talking to someone, and that they had been pretty upset."
"I wonder who."
"I have no idea. But the other part is that although she's confused - and maybe frightened, too - I think she's really interested. She's obviously very sad and very lonely, what with her daughter running away, and Herb being so angry about it. But I felt that she would love to find something more to hold on to. I think she might go along with us."
"Wherever we're going," he murmured.
She raised her head, and looked at him. "Are you okay?"
He forced a smile. "I guess. But every so often, I get this feeling that we're getting into pretty deep waters."
He switched off the light, again.
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