Josh called denomination headquarters promptly at 8 o'clock on Tuesday morning, and arranged for a substitute pastor for the next two weeks. He had merely pleaded "personal needs," and no questions had been asked. He finished breakfast with Evalyn, then retreated to his study to think about how (and how much) to tell the church staff.
The Felton phone began to ring at 9 o'clock on the dot. In the next 45 minutes, it rang four times. Evalyn took the calls. First, it was Pete wanting to get together to discuss the week's schedule. (She said Josh would be calling him.) Then Debbie called, wanting to bring "a friend" to talk to her and the pastor. (She pleaded a busy schedule for Josh, but agreed to have coffee with Debbie later in the day.) Next, Beverly Allen called with a dinner invitation. (Ev substituted another coffee meet.) Finally, Carolyn Curry asked to get together with Ev. (More coffee!)
Evalyn gave the kitchen a quick once-over, grabbed her coat, told Josh she'd be gone awhile, and headed for the Curry's.
* * *
Carolyn was clearly upset, and seemed to barely make it through the preliminary chitchat, while coffee was being served and sipped.
"What you told me about what you're trying to do at the church: do you really believe it?"
"You mean about getting God into our lives in a more personal way?" Thoughts of the turmoil in her own home flashed through her mind, but only momentarily. "Yes, I really do."
"But I don't understand how that can happen. We've been in the church for years, and we were Christians even before that. Herb says there isn't any more to get, nothing new we don't know. He says this is just a gimmick to get more people to church, and that it's backfiring."
Evalyn had to smile. "Well, to tell the truth on my husband, I think it was a gimmick, at first. He always wants the church to grow, and he thought he saw a clever way to get people interested. I don't think he ever felt he could keep people in church with his stories. He thought that the stories might open the door so people could meet us, and that some of those people would decide that the church was someplace they wanted to come back to. That didn't last very long, though. I mean, the gimmick part."
She then went on to tell about the various reactions to the stories, about her own experiences, and about the growing realization she and Josh were sharing that there really was more than they had thought. She shared the scriptures that told of God sending the Holy Spirit "comforter," the various assurances of His ability and willingness to deal with each person personally, and the admonitions to seek that personal help. By the time she finished, there were tears in Carolyn's eyes.
"Then, it really is true!"
Evalyn grinned, and tapped her Bible. "It's in the book!"
Carolyn fell silent. Evalyn sipped her coffee, and let her think.
"I believe you," Carolyn said at last. "I think I have to believe you. If there isn't any more than I have right now, I think I'll go crazy."
"I know it's been hard."
"Not just hard, Evalyn; it's been hell! No matter what I do, I can't escape my worry about Vicki. I feel like I've failed her, and Herb makes it so much worse when he won't talk, and denies she even exists. I don't want to live, if there isn't some hope!"
Evalyn moved over to her, and took her gently by the shoulders. "There is hope, Carolyn - not only for you, but for Herb, and for Vicki, too. Josh and I will help you work this through, I promise."
Tears took over for both of them for a few minutes. When they had cried it out, Carolyn suggested a coffee warm-up. Evalyn glanced significantly at her watch, and stood to leave.
"I wish I could, but I have another appointment."
"Before you go, Evalyn, I have to share something with you. I want badly to be with you and Pastor on this, but it's very awkward. It isn't just that Herb doesn't believe in what you're saying. He's actually trying to get Pastor removed from the church."
Evalyn collapsed back onto the couch. "Oh, lord! I knew that somebody had been talking about that, but I never dreamed... "
Carolyn shrugged, helplessly. "So, you see, it's not so easy. I've tried to talk to him, but he just thinks I'm a silly, emotional fool."
Evalyn shook her head, registering her shock and consternation. "No, it won't be easy." Then she smiled. "But God is in this, isn't He? Then it's His problem, not ours!"
Carolyn's return smile was barely half-hearted, but it was a smile. "I suppose so."
***
"Brewed decaf okay?" Bev Allen was asking Evalyn a few minutes later.
"It better be. I'm so wound up now that I probably don't need anything that even looks like it has caffeine in it."
Beverly laughed at that. "Boy, I know what you mean. I started a cup with Harry about 7:30, before he went out, and I think I've had the cup in my hand ever since. If it was ‘caffeinated,’ I'd be a wreck."
They talked about this and that for a few minutes, but clearly the real topic of conversation was to be the church situation.
"I probably don't need to tell you, Evalyn, but we're really excited about what's going on. As a matter of fact, that's why I called. Harry and I were talking last night, and we thought you might like to keep in a little closer touch with some of us who really support what you're doing."
Evalyn stared at her, and then cried. She cried so hard she couldn't stop herself, her whole body shaking with her sobs. Beverly rushed to her side, laid one hand lightly on Evalyn's back, and prayed silently but urgently until the tears slowed. When the time came, she handed over tissue after tissue until the need had passed.
"Boy, that caffeine is rough stuff!" she said.
Evalyn looked up from her tissue at the other's deadpan face, and as spontaneously as her tears had started, she burst into almost uncontrollable laughter.
"Beverly, you're impossible!"
"Yeah, that's what Harry says. Actually, I suspected that there was something more than coffee involved, but we'd just been talking about caffeine, so I put two and two together, and... "
"And came up with three! I know." Evalyn had regained most of her composure. "Actually, the coffee probably didn't help any, but you're right, there was more - Is more."
"Care to talk about it?"
Evalyn hesitated, then relented. "Sure, why not? We're in this thing together." She paused, searching through feelings for appropriate words. "I came unglued because I left my husband alone at home this morning, with him feeling that everything that has happened is one big mistake, and maybe considering chucking the whole thing. Then I met with a lady who wants so badly to believe in him that it's tearing her apart. Now you, bubbling over about how wonderful it all is! Can you see my dilemma?"
It was Beverly's turn to look stunned. "I can't believe what you're saying! Why would he want to give it up when the Holy Spirit is just beginning to move?"
Evalyn poured out the whole story then, the plusses and minuses. "Josh is on a real roller coaster. Every time someone looks at him cross-eyed, he's either way up or crashing down. I feel in my heart that he believes we're doing right, but the belief just isn't strong enough to stand against the kind of pressure he's been feeling.”
Bev had remained silent through the whole explanation, sunk back into the couch cushions, but fully attentive.
"I'm amazed," she said, when Evalyn had finished. "Not because this is happening, but because we didn't see it. Our Holy Spirit discern switch must have been turned off."
"Your what?
Bev laughed. "Discern switch. An 'in joke,' sorry. What I mean is, if we're tuned in to the Holy Spirit, He helps us discern when there are problems. Discern switch on, we see; switch off, we don't. Anyway, we should have seen! I guess we just got carried away with our own excitement that things were finally beginning to move." She laughed again. “Harry said he could feel the fire moving through the church. He must have been feeling static electricity, instead!"
"So, what do we do?" asked Evalyn.
"Well, we can't let him give up, that's for sure. This is too good to let the Devil screw up. I'll talk to Harry, and we'll pray. Then we can all get together, and get back on track again."
***
Can I take any more of this? Evalyn asked herself, as she burst through her own kitchen doorway minutes before Debbie was due to arrive. Josh was in the kitchen, making a sandwich. He looked better than yesterday, but clearly was still subdued.
“Busy morning?"
"Very! And Debbie's due any minute."
Just then the doorbell rang. “Well, I'll leave you two alone," said Josh. "Have fun."
Evalyn glared daggers at his unsuspecting back, mouthed "have fun," then caught herself. Boy, I really am tired, she said soundlessly, then headed for the door.
Debbie, she was sorry to see, was bubbling over with whatever she wanted to share.
"Ev, I have had the craziest time!" she exclaimed.
"My day has had its moments, too," Ev replied, dryly. Debbie was too excited to take in either the words or the tone.
"Well, mine started yesterday when I stopped at a bookstore to get a book, and met a man talking to himself. Then he talked to me, and we ended up meeting for coffee and talking for hours."
"Coffee," murmured Evalyn, aloud but mostly to herself. "I love it.”
"What?"
Ev forced her mind back to reality. "What?"
"That's what I asked you. You said something about coffee."
"Did I? Well, you said something about coffee first, and it reminded me that I've had a lot of it today. Some 'caf' and some 'decaf", but a lot."
"Ev! Haven't you been listening to me? I wasn't talking about coffee. That was just part of telling you about the man I met."
"You mean, the man who talked to himself in the bookstore who took you to coffee so you could talk for hours? See, I was listening."
"Evalyn Felton, what's wrong with you? You're acting like you're not all here."
Evalyn noted that they were still standing in the hallway. She put her arm around Debbie's shoulder, and led her into the living room.
"I'm sorry, Deb. It's been a hard day. Sit, and start over again." She paused a moment. "Sorry I can't offer you coffee.”
"Evalyn, don't start that, again!"
They sat. Debbie looked at Evalyn a little uncertainly, but she was too excited not to go on with her story.
"Well, as I said, I wandered into a bookstore downtown, and I recognized the salesman as someone I'd seen at church Sunday night. We talked a little while, and he ended up asking me out."
"What was that bit about talking to himself?"
"Oh, when I first saw him - before I recognized him - he came out of the storeroom saying he needed to talk to someone. He didn't know I was there."
"I see."
"Well, it turned out that what he wanted to talk about was the church - now wait, Ev, he really did! I know it sounds like a line, but it's true. He's been coming to church the last couple of weeks, ever since Pastor started his story. He goes to another church, usually - he's the youth pastor there - but... "
"Hold it," interrupted Evalyn. "Does this person have a name?" :
"Sure. Bill. Bill Deacon."
"William Deacon, youth pastor of Gallatin Bible Church, who wanted to shut down their own Sunday night services to attend ours."
"Right! You know him, then?"
"No, not really. But go on. What happened next?"
"Right. Well, his pastor wouldn't go for dropping their services, but Bill has been coming, anyway. And he's really interested!"
Evalyn smiled. "Small world, isn't it? It sounds like you had a good time."
"Oh, we did. Great! He's super to talk to, and I ended up telling him everything - about the church, about you and Pastor, and me... "
"Everything about you?"
"Yes, It just came out. It didn't seem to bother him; not much, anyway, if at all. Anyway, we'd really like to get together with you and Pastor, and decide how we should - well, how we go about doing what Jesus would do."
Evalyn had slumped back in her chair with her eyes closed as Debbie talked. When asked if she was okay, she smiled a wistful smile, but did not immediately open her eyes.
"I don't know what I am, Debbie. I've had so many surprises since last night that I'm just spinning. My brain is on overload!"
Evalyn went through what had occurred: Josh's turmoil, his decision to pull back, then the morning's events that clearly advocated his moving forward. Debbie listened in silence.
"So, here I am with a reluctant pastor-husband, and a bunch - well, a small bunch, anyway - of people who are excited to go on with what's been started. Can you understand my problem?"
"Can't you talk to him, Ev? He can't stop now!"
"Oh, I'll talk to him, all right. But I sure don't know what he'll say."
***
She didn't talk to him immediately. What she did as soon as Debbie left was stumble to the bedroom, almost fall onto the bed, and sleep a troubled sleep for several hours. She awoke to find Josh sitting beside her, caressing her shoulder. He looked worried.
"I thought you were having a nightmare. I heard you all the way from the study, and came in to see what was up. You were talking a blue streak, but I couldn't make any sense of it. It sounded like Greek."
"Greek?"
"Well, actually, it really did sound something like Greek. Some of it, anyway, but I couldn't catch any words for sure. One non-Greek one you said several times sounded like "hay-sus' - Jesus, in Spanish."
"Hay-sus? Jesus?" She smiled up at him, remembering. "I think that is what I said. I know for sure I wasn't having a nightmare. It was more like I was praying - no, more like talking - to God. I don't remember about what."
Josh looked puzzled. "Talking to God?"
Evalyn sat up on the bed. "Well, I probably should be ready to blame too much coffee or too much confusion. God knows I've had enough of both today! But, honestly, I feel so good I think I really was talking to God about what's going on. And talking to Him in His own language!"
"Honey?"
She jumped up from the bed, knelt in front of him, and took hold of his hands. "Listen, Josh, can I tell you right now what's been happening today? I don't want to add to your problems, but I really think you need to hear this, now."
She was so insistent that he forced himself to hear her out. She talked about Carolyn, about the Allens, about Debbie, and about William Deacon.
"I know that whatever we do has to be your decision, Josh, but I believe that the Holy Spirit was really talking to me this afternoon. I mean really talking to me! I see this whole thing so clearly now. These are people - real people - who want more of God. Their hearts have been touched, and they want to go forward. I think they may go forward without us, if necessary, but they want to go - and grow - with us. All we have against us are some scared, negative people, and we're not even sure there are very many of them. We can't ignore their fears and concerns, but I don't think we can let them stop us, either. There, I'm finished!"
She looked at him, expectantly. He didn't speak.
"Well?"
"Okay, I'll think - I'll pray - about it."
She put her arms around his neck, and held him close. "Thank God! I thought for a minute that you were going to ask me again if I was your wife!"
***
The rest of the afternoon went quickly for both Evalyn and Josh. Ev worked around the house, feeling amazingly light-hearted and contented. Josh retreated to his study again, where he mostly sat in silence, hands clasped atop his head and eyes staring sightlessly into space. He didn't pray much - he didn't even think much - but he came out to dinner remarkably calm and clear-headed. After dinner, he asked everyone to stay at the table.
"Mike and Karrie, I'm sure you've guessed that I was pretty upset about something. I don't know how much your Mom has told you, but I've been very worried about the church. You know I've been doing things a little bit differently in church lately, and it's upset some people. They're sort of mad at me, and that made me upset."
"How can they be mad at you, Dad?" asked Mike.
Josh shook his head. "It's pretty hard to explain, but your Mother and I have been feeling that God wanted to do some special things for the people of our church. Even though these are good things, it sometimes scares people to change. Some people worry about changes, and when they worry they get upset. Since I'm causing the changes, they're upset at me."
"That's not fair!" opined Karen.
Josh smiled. "Well, fair or not, that’s the way it is. Anyway, they're confused and I'm confused and it's been a pretty tough week. I'm sorry for being a crank."
"Have you decided what we're going to do yet?" Evalyn couldn't resist asking.
"Not completely. I need some advice, and I think maybe the best one to give it is Milt Thomas in Boise."
"Oh, that's a great idea!" cried Evalyn. "You might call him yet this evening."
"Well, I'd planned to call, but I think it would be better if I saw him face to face. If he's available, I might fly over there tomorrow. It's expensive, but... "
"Let's not worry about that. If going will help us, then any cost is a good investment."
"Okay, I'll call. I have to do something else, too, and that's to tell Pete what's going on. I know it's 'chicken' not to tell Paul myself, but I can't talk to him yet. I'll let Pete do that, if he will."
"I'm sure he will", said Evalyn, "Once you explain to him what it's all about.”
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