Pete hadn't understood everything, but Josh had explained enough that he had agreed to lead the Wednesday service. He also agreed to tell Paul about the substitute pastor. Having made the call and having replaced the phone receiver on its base, he stood musing, shaking his head slightly.
"Problems?" asked Donna, who had been thumbing through a magazine.
"Well, he was civil, but I don't think he was very happy, hearing from me, instead of Josh."
"That's sort of expected, isn't it? I mean, shouldn't Josh have called the board together and told them what he was doing?"
"Yes, and yes. Yes, it is to be expected; and yes, he should have told them himself. But he was honest with me about it; he said he was 'chicken.' He and Paul must have had a real tiff about recent events, because Josh wasn't up to discussing it again right now."
Donna nodded. "Things aren't going well, are they?"
He sat down on the arm of her chair. "No, I don't think they are. We haven't seen much of Josh and Ev lately, and Josh didn't say a great deal on the phone, but I guess you don't need to be a rocket scientist to realize there are some problems. Josh's changes aren't being accepted gracefully by everyone, that's for sure."
"Josh is in pretty bad shape?"
"I think so. I get the impression he feels pretty strongly about what he's doing, but he's not getting the reactions he expected, and that's getting to him."
"What's he doing during his leave time?"
"He didn't tell me. He just said he's going out of town today."
Donna had continued to idly thumb her magazine. Now she put it down, decisively. "You and I haven't talked much about this lately, either. Tell me, are we or aren't we accepting 'the challenge'?"
Pete got up from the chair arm. "Sure. I mean, it's what we've been talking to the church kids about, isn't it? Living as Christians, not just talking about Christianity. I don't see how we can do otherwise." He paused. "You do agree, I presume?"
She nodded. "Sure, I agree. Only I wonder what it all means. I don't have a clue as to how we put our brave words into action, and I don't think Josh does, either."
"You're right, there. But I also think that Josh has given the church long enough to think about this. We need a good planning meeting now, to gel our ideas and get to work. Agree?"
"Agree. So, what do we do?"
"I think we catch him just as soon as he gets home, and offer our support. I'm ready to roll!"
***
"I just don't understand him!" exclaimed Paul, as he hung up his phone after talking to Pete.
Jenny appeared at the door. "Were you talking to me?"
"What? Oh no, I was talking to myself." He paused. "This gets crazier and crazier."
"Paul, what are you mumbling about? Who were you talking to?"
"What?" He still wasn't with her. "Oh, that was Pete, telling me that Pastor Josh has taken a leave of absence."
"He what?"
"He took a leave of absence. Leave of his senses, is more like it! That's right. Without telling me, he arranged for a guest pastor for an indefinite time period, and now he's taken off somewhere."
"But where has he gone? Did Ev go with him?"
"Jen, I really don't know. Pete said that he was gone, that Josh had asked him to take the Wednesday prayer meet, and that the substitute was due here Sunday. Josh had said he needed a break. I say, give us a break!"
Jenny had sat down on the couch, and was looking puzzled and distressed. "I'll bet he's heard the talk about asking him to leave the church. That would really upset him."
"Well, of course he heard the talk. If you recall, I told him. And believe me, he was upset!"
"No, I know you told him, Paul, but that was more or less hypothetical, wasn't it? Just that it could happen, but not that church members had actually talked about it."
Paul sat down beside her, “Well, no, I didn't name names, but I think my message was clear. It should worry him, that was the point.”
Jenny turned to face him. "Paul, this really worries me," she said, intensely.
"What worries me is that a pastor goes off somewhere without even talking to his elders, and relays information to them through the youth pastor."
She regarded him questioningly, and then with sudden awareness. "Paul, you're not worried about Josh, at all! You're worried about your own hurt feelings.”
He winced at the accusation. "It's not hurt feelings! I just think it's irresponsible for a church leader to behave so unbusinesslike. He should have contacted me."
"Maybe he should have, but you didn't give him much reason to want to talk to you,"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
She stood up impulsively, not sure if she was really angry at him, or just upset. "Well, you haven't made it easy for him, have you? You haven't tried to understand what he's trying to do."
"Now, wait a minute." He stood up, too, "I have tried to understand him. I've tried to warn him! Anyway, how can I understand him when he doesn't understand himself? He obviously doesn't know what he's doing. Look at the way he's been jumping from one idea to another."
"You encouraged him to do this," she said, quietly.
"I encouraged him? How do you figure that?"
"Well, you didn't tell him not to do his story. When he started, you didn't tell him to stop. Also, as I recall, you told him to pray about it." She slumped back on the couch.
"Jen, the story was kid stuff. Josh loves to do that kind of thing. He loves to pack the church by using gimmicks and contests. There was no real harm in that. But he wasn't content with that. He had to go and get everybody upset with him."
"But he said he prayed about it."
"Well, he must not have heard the answer right. If he had, the church wouldn't be in such turmoil now."
"Is it?"
He stopped at her quiet question. "What do you mean, is it?"
"I mean, is the church in turmoil? Is ‘everyone’ upset with him?"
He sat down on the coffee table facing her. “What are you getting at? Haven't you been here the last couple weeks?"
"Yes, I have, and don't be snide with me. I repeat, is the church in turmoil? Isn't it more like a few people who don't like changes and are overreacting?"
"Jen... "
"Wait a minute. I admit Josh hasn't handled this very well, but, Paul, has he really done anything so terrible? It seems to me that there are as many people for him as against him. You just happen to be listening to the ones against."
"Jenny," he began in a patient voice, "This really isn't a question of voting. This is a question of church order, and maybe a question of Bible truth."
"What if they gave a church service and God didn't come?" she muttered to herself.
"What? What does that mean?"
"Oh, I was just thinking. You're so wrapped up in Robert's Rules of Order that you wouldn't hear if God Himself preached from the pulpit Sunday morning - that is, unless He did it in the denominational way!"
Paul leaped to his feet. "Jenny, that's not fair! I've been appointed by these people to help run the church. More than that, to protect them from excesses. More than one church has fallen apart when pastor and congregation didn't agree, and sometimes the problem isn't just disagreement. More than one pastor has gone off the deep end!"
Jenny knew that she had gone too far. "Paul, I'm sorry. I apologize for that dig, but will you listen to yourself? Do you honestly believe that Josh and Evalyn Felton are 'off the deep end'? Do you really think they're trying to lead this church in unscriptural ways?"
He relented somewhat, and sat down again on the table. "No, Jen, of course not; not purposely. But he clearly doesn't know what he's doing. That's dangerous for the church and the congregation."
"Why?"
"Why? Isn't that clear?"
"No, it isn't clear to me. I've heard Josh say that he wants to make us better Christians - more complete Christians. I've felt more love coming from him this past month than in all the time we've known him, and he's been one of our closest friends for a long time, so I do know him! I've haven't heard him say anything unscriptural (although I have to admit that I haven't understood everything he's said). Can't we give him a chance? What if he's right, that God wants to do something brand new with us?"
"What if he's wrong?"
Jenny paused, thinking for a moment. "I don't know. What if he is wrong? If something is done in God's name and for God's glory, and if it's done in love even if it's done wrong, isn't God capable of making it work? Isn't He capable of turning a wrong thing done for the right reasons into a right thing?"
Paul just looked at her.
"Give him a chance, Paul," she pleaded. "That's all I'm asking."
***
While Pete and Paul were talking, Josh had been disembarking from the early flight to Boise. Milton Thomas was at the airport to meet him. Rather than talking at the church or at the Thomases home, they opted to drive out into the desert. Sitting in the car, looking out over the vast Snake River plain, Josh detailed what had happened since they had last met. Milton asked a few questions, but mostly just let Josh talk.
"Milt, I can't believe the way this has affected me. My ups and downs are like Jekyll and Hyde. If I was to read about my character in a novel, I'd criticize the author for being unbelievable! I wouldn't have thought that anybody could go through so many emotions and so many personality swings in so short a time."
Milt laughed. "I know what you mean. You certainly have run the full gamut of possible hots and colds, But I can see why, and I'm not surprised."
"You're not?"
"Not a bit. Just consider your circumstances. You're a leader who's used to leading. You have good ideas and a strong personal drive to organize and get things done. People follow you naturally because you're strong, and because you give them what they need. You're content to lead, and they're content with you as their leader. Then suddenly two things happen. First, you have to begin giving up your leadership role to the Holy Spirit. You know it's right, but you're used to having all the answers and taking all the initiative. Things aren't really in your control, anymore. God sets the timing. That's a hard situation for a strong, self-sufficient man like you."
"I guess I can see that. What's your other point?"
"That has to do with the people you pastor. You're such a good salesman that they've been moving along with you pretty much at your speed, Now, suddenly, you change the message. They're confused, and they rebel. You're not used to being challenged, nor are you used to seeing your people upset. They get mixed signals; you get mixed signals. They go up and down; you go up and down."
Josh pondered. "I see what you're saying, but I've really been trying to make it as smooth as possible. I've given a lot of thought to not disrupting things, and to not forcing people to change.”
"Maybe so, Josh, but you've got to realize that this is not just some organizational change. Think of the trouble people have when the post office changes their zip code, and you're suggesting major changes in their church and in their lives! Some folks are ready for it; some aren't. Some never will be, maybe. You have to give new seeds lots of time to grow."
Josh nodded, mostly convinced but not comfortable.
"There's something else, Josh. We've been talking about the strictly human reasons for your ups and downs, and for the congregation's resistance. Have you considered the spiritual warfare you're in?"
"You mean, with the Devil?"
"I do, indeed. You're trying to open yourself and your church to the moving of the Holy Spirit in new ways. You're seeking to glorify God, and strengthen Christians. Don't you imagine Satan might have some small interest in thwarting you?"
"By confusing things?"
"At the very least. By messing with your mind, and the minds of your congregation, in any way he can. He doesn't want to see Christians growing, or God being glorified."
"So, what do I do about it?"
"You mean generally or specifically?"
Josh shrugged.
"Well, it's got to be your decision, Josh. But if you need some positive reinforcement to help you make up your mind, consider this. What you've been trying to do, and the direction you've been heading (between ups and downs!) seems right to me. It rings true. It's for Christian growth. It's for God's glory. It's to help people. It's scriptural. And, despite the confusion, it sounds to me like you have good, positive interest and support within the church. There, how's that for not telling you what to do!"
Josh laughed. "It couldn't be clearer! No, I know what you mean. The question in my mind isn't really whether it's right or wrong. It's more a question of whether or not I can handle it, and that obviously has to be my call. But I do appreciate your perspective - and your candor."
"I'm just glad to be able to help. I feel like I'm in this pretty deeply, myself."
They had prayed together then, a strong prayer against Satan and for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, and for the peace of God-given conviction whenever Josh was on the right track. Then, they were back at the Boise airport. Less than twelve hours after leaving the house, Josh was back in Portland.
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