Evalyn had made the arrangements, and Friday after dinner she and Josh stopped their car in front of the Allen's home. Josh slumped down in the seat and closed his eyes.
"Tired, honey?"
"No, scared, I think is a better word. Here we are sitting in front of the home of a couple from our church - a couple I don't know very well, by the way - and I am preparing to march up to their door, and ask these two almost-strangers why they are always happy."
Ev unfastened her seat belt and slid over close to him. "And you find that frightening? Why, it seems the most natural thing in the world to me!"
"Oh, sure, smartie. And what if it goes wrong?"
"Wrong? What could possibly go wrong?"
"Well, what if they say it's because they take vitamins, or practice yoga, or take showers together, or..." He put his arm around her and pulled her close.
"Cool it, Reverend! We're late, already."
***
Harry Allen had greeted them at the door and led them into the living room, where Beverly was just setting down a plate of sliced fruitcake and a steaming coffee pot. They quickly agreed that the weather was getting a little colder and that it was just about flu season. Josh caught himself just before he asked Harry how work was going. After that, it was just sipping and munching for a minute or two. Finally, Josh put down his cup.
"I imagine you're wondering why we wanted to see you."
Harry glanced at Beverly, and grinned. "Well, we've both been really searching our consciences since Mrs. Felton called, but nothing obvious has come to either of us."
They all laughed at that, and it helped, but sipping coffee still seemed easier than talking.
"Well," said Josh, shifting around in his place. "I guess that I'd better jump right in and get it over with. Were you at church Sunday night?"
Harry nodded.
"Well, you know some of the background then. I won't put you on the spot asking you what you thought about it, and I won't go through all of what has happened since then, but just let me say that things haven't gone as expected. It's probably very bad form for a pastor to confess such a thing, but the truth is that I've been very confused and not sure what the next step is."
He paused, They waited expectantly.
"Well, let me start again. I guess the whole story idea was just a gimmick, another Sunday School contest or something. I really hadn't thought the whole thing out. Then suddenly I was being confronted by people expecting me to solve real problems for them. I found I couldn't do it. Then some other things happened, and some people told me a few things about problem solving." He glanced at Evalyn, who smiled back at him. "Well, I began to think about how individuals in the church solve problems, and I thought about you two and about how cheerful and solid you seem, and... well, I guess that I want to know why."
This last part cascaded out all at once, and left Josh breathless and speechless. No one said anything for what seemed like an eternity to him. Finally, Harry spoke.
"I don't really know what you want us to tell you, Reverend Felton. We really aren't always cheerful and confident, but God has been awfully good to us, overall, and... well, we just live, I guess."
More silence. Then Beverly tried. "I think what Harry means is that we do have problems, and they really get us down sometimes, but what we try to do is to just take God at His word and turn things over to Him and let Him handle them. When we do that, well..." Her voice trailed off, and they were quiet again.
"What do you mean, let Him handle them?" Josh asked after a little awkward silence. Harry looked at Beverly, but no one spoke. Evalyn poured herself a little more coffee, and smiled encouragingly at Josh, and raised her eyebrows inquisitively. He took a breath, and began again.
"Look, I know this is awkward. A pastor isn't supposed to ask members of his congregation how God works, but I really need some individual, personal thoughts on this subject." He paused. "You've been out of work a long time, haven't you, Harry?"
"Almost six months."
“How are you doing, financially?"
Harry paused before answering. "Well, it's been tight at times, but we expect this to some extent each year, so we save up while we have work and are careful when we don't. It's not too bad."
"Do you tithe all year?"
Obviously, Harry hadn't expected that question, and he watched Josh expectantly. "I don't want to embarrass you, or make you think I'm being nosy, but I happen to know that you've been giving quite a bit to the church recently, even though you've been out of work so long. Isn't that tough on you?"
Harry smiled. "Well, no, we just plan for it along with everything else. We figure that the church has needs all year long, and feel we should be open to those needs. Actually, to answer your question fully, I guess we really don't tithe in the strict Old Testament sense - a straight 10 per cent, I mean. We've just tried to be open to the needs around us, both in and out of church, and sometimes we end up giving 10 per cent, sometimes more, and sometimes less. It seems to work out."
"It just 'works out'?"
"Well, no. Of course, it doesn't just 'work out’, in the sense of it being luck or magic or anything like that. I just mean that we try to be open to the Holy Spirit. When we are, He gives us direction. And I guess that's the real answer to your question about why we are the way we are. Bev and I are really trying to follow the Bible admonition to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness’, so that all else can be added unto us. In other words, we're really expecting God to take a personal interest in us - in our day-to-day situation. When we expect Him to handle things, He does."
Silence returned for a minute or two, and the coffee pot made the rounds past Harry, Bev, and Evalyn. Josh was concentrating on another question.
"I've been hearing the phrase ‘personal relationship with God' a lot lately. Is that what you're saying you have?"
Harry and Beverly looked at each other, and smiled. "That's what we're working on," Bev answered.
"Is that the same as ‘being filled with the Holy Spirit'?"
Evalyn stared at Josh, her eyes wide with clear amazement. Bev and Harry looked at one another, but this time they didn't smile.
"Don't worry," said Josh. "I'm not excommunicating, tonight. I just want to know what you think. I'll try to be open to what you say."
Harry got up and walked across the room, looked out the window into the darkness for a moment, then walked back and sat down. Bev tried to put some more coffee in his essentially untouched cupful. He shifted the cup from hand to hand, managed to spill a little bit, and put it down, again.
"Christians use a lot of terms for different things, and talk about a lot of experiences and techniques and ways of doing things, and I'm sure I don't know what they all mean. I know that 'the baptism of the Holy Spirit’ and 'being filled with the Spirit’ are fighting words in many segments of Christianity, and many people smarter than me have tried to explain what they mean. I can't do it. All I know for sure is that I - Bev, too - we were Christians for a long time without really having a ‘personal relationship with Jesus.’ I haven't a doubt in my mind that we were 'saved.' We believed that Jesus, the Son of God, is our Savior, and that we will eventually be with Him in Heaven, wherever that is. But we had no real contact for today. We were studying about yesterday and we were looking forward to tomorrow, but we needed personal help today, too."
Josh remembered those as Evalyn's words, and glanced up at her. She was attentive to Harry.
"Somehow - and I really don't know exactly how - our attention became fixed on Jesus' words about Him sending us a ‘comforter’ - someone to take His place, and really provide us with daily guidance. He just seemed to be saying to us, accept My Holy Spirit into your lives, just as you have already accepted Me and My Father, and I will concern Myself with you here and now as well as in the future. The logic of this just seemed to grow, and we finally did."
"You did? You mean that you did something special, made some kind of dedication?"
"No, not really. We just finally said to God that we believed Him, and that we would take Him at His word and expect His Holy Spirit to take charge."
"And you feel He did?"
Beverly answered this time. “There wasn't a miraculous change in every part of us just like that, but there was a very definite change in our outlook and attitudes. As the days go by and we keep acknowledging His help, we see and feel more and more tangible results from our expectations."
Not much more was said, and after a while Josh and Evalyn made their departure. They didn’t talk much that night, but Evalyn had a definite feeling that everything was okay.
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