Evalyn and the kids came home Tuesday night. The house seemed completely dark, and at first they thought that Josh wasn't there. Evalyn found him in his study a half-hour later, sunk in his chair. The reading light was on, but no books or papers were near him.
"Hi, honey," she said, and kissed him on top of the head.
"Hi, yourself." Affectionate routine, but he didn't look at her. "Good trip?"
"Sure. The kids are tired, though. They're getting a snack. Hard day?"
He looked up at her for the first time, and he really didn't have to say anything. It was obvious. "Hard couple of days!"
She sat on the arm of his chair, and put her hand on his shoulder, "Bad problems?"
He smiled ruefully, and nodded. She got up.
"Let me get the kids to bed. I'll be back."
Moments later, Mike and Karen popped in to deliver quick hellos and goodnights - they were obviously under orders to keep it brief. Then they were gone, and Evalyn was back on the arm of his chair.
"What's up?"
They'd talked on the phone several times during the past week, so she knew the outline of his plan, and the first reactions to it. Now he filled her in on the details, not glossing over his own obvious failures. "To be told I can't write, then to be confronted with a problem I couldn't handle was bad enough. Then, this morning I got three letters in the mail."
He handed them to her, and she read each in turn. She recognized Mrs. Hoddy's handwriting on the first.
Dear Reverend Felton,
The ladies of the Women's Benevolent Society met today because we are very much concerned about your "sermon" Sunday night. I don't think that I put it too strongly to say that we were shocked by what we heard. Any infringement on the traditional aspects of our services is of course undesirable, but to hear open discussion of such subjects as unfaithfulness in marriage is especially inappropriate and distasteful to us. Our children get far too much of that on television and in the movies. They should not be subjected to it in church, of all places!
We hope, Reverend Felton, that you will abandon your plans to continue these "readings," and will return us to the wonderful tradition of our regular services. /s/ Esther Hoddy, for WBS.
Evalyn looked up from the letter, and smiled at Josh. He didn't smile back. She started the second letter, which was neatly typewritten.
Dear Dr. Felton,
! can't tell you how excited I am about last night's service at your church! I just happened to hear of your plans from a friend of mine, so I dropped by. Tremendous! To hear human problems - human failings - discussed so frankly and openly in church restores some of my faith in that old and decrepit institution. For much too long, our young people have been getting their training in values from secular (often anti-Christian) schools, and from the good old TV. Few pastors seem to realize that the churches are the right places to learn about life.
Of course, you really just got started last night, and didn't get to the real spiritual teaching. But I'm confident that in the weeks to come you will help us all solve our problems by seeing how your characters solve theirs. I’m considering asking our pastor to suspend our own Sunday night services for a while, so we can all come to learn and fellowship with you.
Keep up the good work! /s/ William P. Deacon, Youth Pastor, Gallatin Church.
"That's nice!" exclaimed Evalyn. Josh smiled halfheartedly.
"Try the third one."
Evalyn unfolded it, and found one line written across the page: Pastor Felton - I'm like JoAnne in your story. Please help me! It was unsigned.
"Wow!" She leaned over and put the letters on the lamp stand, then gently rested her chin on top of his head, and just as gently massaged his shoulders. "You've stirred up some action, Reverend Felton."
Josh sighed. "Indeed, I have! It looks like I really got myself into it, this time."
"The next few weeks should be interesting, that's for sure. What will you do next?"
"Next? Well, I guess I'll figure out some graceful way to get myself out of this mess, and get back to the old routine. How does a pastor tell his congregation that he made a bad mistake?"
Evalyn stood up. "You just tell them, I guess. All of us - even pastors - make mistakes." She put her hand on his shoulder. "But what makes you think that you've made one?"
"What makes me think I made a mistake? Well, let me see. To begin with, I've been told I can't write. Besides that, the ladies of the church are about to revolt... "
She thumped him lightly on the head. “Ladies? Nonsense. Mrs. Hoddy and maybe a couple of others have their noses out of joint because you did something a little bit different. You can overcome that. As for Greg, he said it himself - he's just a college student. Besides, you can work on that, too. I'd say you have a mandate to go on.”
"Mandate? I read it as two against two, and one of the ‘fors' isn't even from our church."
Evalyn walked over to the window, and stood peering into the dark, "You forgot your visitor Sunday night. That makes three in favor, two against, and it looks to me like the three in favor have the strongest case. You've really touched them; the others are just being negative. And so what if one is not from ‘our church'? Do you think the people of that church have different problems and different needs than our own?"
"I suppose not."
There was silence in the room for some time. "I guess that..." Josh began at last.
"You guess?"
"I guess there's more to it than whether Mrs. Hoddy is upset, or whether Greg or anybody else thinks I can't write. Those things hurt a little bit, but there's more to it than that."
Silence again. "What else?" she finally asked.
Josh got up, walked over to her, put his hands on her shoulders and stood in silence for a minute.
"I don't really think I can do it. I really don't think I can say anything that will help these people with their problems. This youth pastor expects me to teach the whole world. Why, I couldn't even help one man on Sunday night!"
She smiled. "Of course, you can't solve their problems. But you're not called to do that."
"I'm not supposed to do that? But that's what we've been talking about!"
"No, it isn't, Josh. Think. What's the theme of Sheldon's book?"
Josh looked puzzled, so she went on. "Sheldon didn't have the minister solve the problems himself. He was a helper, but the key is that the people of the congregation were asked to look at each situation themselves, and try to figure out what Jesus would do."
Josh just stared at her. She continued.
"In the Book of James, it says that if we lack wisdom we should ask God. It implies that we can have help in every situation, to figure out just what Jesus would do - or what He would have us do."
"I've never heard you quote scripture before." It was as much a question as a comment.
She smiled. "No, I suppose not. But it does seem rather pertinent to our discussion, doesn't it? Isn't that what it's all about?"
He nodded in a preoccupied way, not taking his eyes off her face. "Are you my wife?"
She laughed, a little flustered, and looked quizzically at him. "No, I'm an impostor!"
He didn't smile. "Well, something is different about you. What's been happening while you've been away?"
She felt herself reddening under his gaze. She took a deep breath.
"Well, we went to church a couple of times with Mother. Her pastor talked so realistically about the Holy Spirit as a being - you know, someone who is available to help us solve our problems, and to keep us on the right track, and - well, I've never seen it quite that way before."
Josh turned away. "What do you mean by that? I talk about the Holy Spirit all the time."
"I know you do, Josh, but not about the Holy Spirit as a personality - as someone we can really call upon."
He turned back to her. "Do you really believe that?” he asked, a little more aggressively than he had intended to.
"Yes, I think so. I haven't really experienced it yet, but I've been reading my Bible, and - and we're not just supposed to talk about God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit. We're really supposed to know them!"
She blurted out the last almost defiantly, and she felt as if her face had caught fire. Josh just lowered his head a little, shifting his glance from her. He didn't respond.
"Don't you think so, Josh?"
He glanced up at her now, but only for a second, His words were quiet, but there was a definite edge to them. "You make it sound like I don't preach the Gospel."
Evalyn felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she moved quickly to him, putting her hands on his shoulders and leaning her face against his hair.
"That's not what I mean! I love you!"
He seemed not to hear her, or feel her presence. "l believe in God, and I teach my people to do likewise. You've never heard me deviate from the Bible."
"Of course I haven't! That isn't what I meant. It's just... oh, I know I'm hurting you! I don't want to, But Josh, you talk a lot about the past, and you talk a lot about the future, but you don't talk about right now. What do we do until Jesus comes back?"
His body was rigid against hers, and his voice was cold. "We have faith."
Evalyn burst into tears. "There's more to it than that, Josh. I just know there is!"
He wrenched himself out of her grasp and walked a few steps away. His heart was thumping, his head hurt, and he felt like crying, too. He wanted to tell her not to cry - he wanted to hold and comfort her, but he was in a turmoil now, and couldn't stop himself.
"The Bible says that we are to live by faith. We have His promise for the future."
The words came more quickly, more explosively than he had intended. He turned around to face her. Tears were still on her cheeks, but she was drying her eyes now, and trying to smile.
"I know, Josh, but it also says that we have a 'comforter' to take care of us while we're living by faith."
They stood and looked at each other for a few moments. Josh spoke first.
"I don't know any more to say. I guess we're both tired."
"Yes, I guess so."
"Maybe we better go to bed."
"I suppose.”
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