“How's the tape coming?" Josh answered.
"I just changed it, Dad," Mike replied. "And can I go next?"
"You bet. Any time you want."
Mike hemmed and hawed a little in the presence of the adults, but once he got started it was clear that he'd spent a lot of time on what he had to say. "I really didn't want to come up here. Dad and Mom know how much I didn't want to move up here! Hey, if I'd been two years older, I probably wouldn't have come, at all. I was really mad at Dad because I thought it was stupid to leave. Sorry, Dad."
"No problem, Mike. I can understand."
"Well, Karrie and I had our friends and all our school stuff, and it didn't seem right to go. Besides, Dad was a pastor, not a book editor.
"Anyway, I made it kinda rough on them, mostly because I couldn't believe that God would really make it okay for all of us. But once we got here, it was all right. I miss my friends in Portland, but I didn't lose them. They're still around, and I've even seen them a couple of times already, so it's okay. And I've got some new friends, too." He paused, and grinned conspiratorially at Pete. "So what I learned this year is that my Pop knew what he was doing, after all!"
Josh laughed, but there was a little catch in his voice. “Thanks, Mike. I needed that."
Mike gave a little nod of acknowledgment. "I guess what I really learned is, if you can't pick for yourself and make your own choices about something, then you just have to trust God to have somebody else make the right pick for you."
They all pondered that a moment. "Smart kid you have, Ev," Pete noted. The way he said it seemed to exclude Josh from having anything to do with that smartness.
"You're just lucky I can't fire you, anymore," Josh responded.
"We've run out of letters." Evalyn made her not too subtle move to quell the jokers before they got started again. "Someone else needs to volunteer."
"I will," Donna volunteered. "But first, a ‘potty break'."
That suggestion drew a positive response from everyone. When they reconvened, Donna began her story. At least, she tried to begin, but tears welled up in her eyes before she was able to say a thing. She sobbed for several minutes, eyes tightly closed. Everyone waited quietly, some laying hands on her and praying quietly.
"I'm sorry," she apologized, after she had regained a little control. "I! didn't think I'd do that. I was being so cool, but it just overwhelmed me. I was thinking about how lucky I am to be here, and how stupid I've been about a lot of things. We almost lost you all, and just because I couldn't trust God."
"Because we couldn't trust God," Pete amended.
"Yeah," agreed Donna. "Because we couldn't. We were really stupid as a team, not just as individuals." She paused. "Maybe you can talk better about that, Peter, when it's your turn. I really want to talk about my personal stupidity."
"Be my guest," Pete offered. She made a face at him.
"I was so angry for so long." She smiled, ruefully. "I guess I didn't need to tell you that! Anyway, I was furious that there could be so much trouble in the church over... Well, over what in my ‘angry days' I would have called the stupidity of a couple of brain-dead knot-heads."
"That would've been on one of her good days," observed Pete.
"Thanks, dear, for clarifying. But he's right, I've said worse, and I've thought a whole lot worse! Well, the good news is that I was right to be angry - their behavior was inexcusable, and a little righteous indignation was called for. My problem was that my indignation wasn't very righteous! You remember the big blow up... "
"Seems like I do," Ev stage-whispered.
"Smarty! Anyway, let's not remember it. Let's remember the prayers afterward. God didn't show me everything I needed to know about my anger that night, but He showed me a lot. The big things were that my anger was very personal, directed at certain people rather than at the situation, and it was a destructive anger, rather than constructive. Really, I was getting to hate those people! I wanted to throw them out of the church, just like Jesus threw the money changers out of the temple."
"Jesus did throw them out," Bev observed.
"I know, but He threw them out because He was Jesus and He was righteously indignant. I was Donna being unrighteously hateful. That's why I said earlier that I did have the right to be angry. Those people were 'defiling the temple,' so to speak, and were clearly slowing down God's work. But so was I, with my bad attitude and my wrong approach to what was going on. I should have been turning my frustration over to God, to let Him use it in a constructive way. I should have been praying for them. Heaven forbid, I should have been loving them!"
"Not so easy to do," observed Paul.
"No, definitely not, but that's what we're supposed to do, isn't it? Pray for those who despitefully use us, Hate the sin, but love the sinner. Anyway, I'm still not very good at it, but I'm doing much, much better. Sometimes now, the Holy Spirit helps me get beyond my 'mad' to see something of what the other person is thinking and feeling." She paused. "I still don't like those people." She glanced upward. "Sorry, God, but I don't. But in my more lucid moments, I see them as people now, with hopes and fears and wants and wishes like the rest of us. They're not just things in my way, anymore." She looked up, again. "And I do thank You for that, God."
"Amen," several of them agreed.
"You talk now, Peter," she concluded.
"Okay." Pete paused to collect his words. "Well, as we said earlier, Donna and I made a team effort out of not trusting God. I don't know how it happened. We'd talked so much to the church kids about developing a personal relationship with God, turning everything over to Him, and going to Him for answers. So what do we do when we should really be leaning on Him, and when we should really be supporting Josh and Ev? We take all our troubles back on ourselves, and... " His words caught in his throat, and for a minute he was unable to go on. "And we walk away from the best friends we ever had, hurting them and hurting ourselves in the bargain."
Josh quickly moved over to him, and put his hands on Pete's shoulders. "But it's okay now, my friend. We're all together, again." Pete rose, and they hugged one another and cried silently. It was a few moments before Pete could continue.
"I know it's okay now, but there's still a price we pay - a consequence of every action. We weren't with you those last couple of weeks in the church, and that was wrong. You needed us, and we needed to be part of it all. Our fear and hurt deprived us all."
"You're right," Josh agreed. "It was a harder, sadder time for all of us because you weren't there. But we all have those kinds of regrets to live with. And it's definitely okay, now."
Pete gave a short laugh of chagrin. "But to think that none of our fears were necessary. The new pastor didn't seem to think twice about letting us keep our jobs."
"We even got a raise," Donna noted, mischievously.
"Maybe we should have gone sooner," Ev suggested.
Donna raised her eyebrows. "Maybe."
"Come on!" Pete protested, now that he was over the worst of his sadness. "How do you expect me to be maudlin when you're being mercenary?"
"We don't," rejoined Donna. "It's time to be happy, now that it's all worked out."
"l am happy,” protested Pete, but soberly again. "But I can't help thinking how close we came to losing all this. And it was because we couldn't trust God to work it out. We sure put ourselves through a lot with our stupidity."
It was time for several to say "amen", again.
"So," urged Evalyn, "Tell the tape recorder what's been going on in your lives since you left that day."
"Okay." Pete began. "When we left church that Sunday afternoon, after dropping our burden on poor old Paul, we didn't really know what we were going to do. We just wanted to drop out of sight for a while. We were hurt and angry and confused, and just didn't think we could take any more. We finally decided to visit our parents."
"And were they ever thrilled to see us!" Donna chimed in. "We made my folks miserable for a couple of days, then went on to do the same for Pete's mom and dad. We were such bad company that, if we hadn't been their kids, one or the other probably would have thrown us out."
Pete continued. "After we'd worn out our welcome at both places, we just went camping for a couple of days. It was cold and wet and miserable, but it matched our mood perfectly. However, we finally had to come home and face things. Of course, when we did, we found 'things' had gone much farther than we ever could have imagined. Josh had already announced his resignation, and Pastor Donaldson had been asked to fill in until someone new could be appointed. We went right back to work, presumably on an interim basis."
He paused to reflect. "It was really strange in church those first couple of weeks. No one seemed able to believe that Josh, Ev, and the kids were really gone. The Whites couldn't even be happy, because the resignation had made it impossible for them to kick you out. I really think they felt cheated!"
"Poor Don and Mag," murmured Donna.
"Yep, poor Don and Mag. But the really poor ones were Donna and Pete. We..." He choked up again, and tears came to his eyes. "God, we missed you! I've never felt so empty in my life. But Josh, we were so hurt, we couldn't come to you."
"I know, Pete," Josh consoled. "It was a bad time for us, too."
Pete couldn't go on right then, so Donna picked up the story. "For the next couple of months, everybody just sort of hung on. We all liked Pastor Donaldson - you remember how much Charley liked his choruses - and he and Mrs. Donaldson - Barbara - worked really hard to keep things loose and low-key. They did an awfully good job of it, too."
Pete joined back in. "We were doing okay - going through the motions, anyway - but we knew, or thought we knew, that we were short-termers, so we tried not to get too involved. Also, we felt pretty miserable losing you folks. Then one morning, Pastor Donaldson - Ron - preached a sermon about forgiveness. One of the scriptures he quoted was, never let the sun go down on your anger.” Donna and I both got the same message from that, that a Jot of sun-downs at occurred between us and the Feltons, and we needed to do something about it."
"And that's when you showed up in Seattle," murmured Evalyn.
"That was it. God brought an awful lot of things together for us after that sermon. He really convicted us about being angry with you, and for not trusting Him to help each of us make our own decisions. He also reminded us that we still weren't turning loose of our career problem; we still weren't letting Him take charge of that situation, either. But most of all, he made it very clear to both of us that good friends are too few and far between to give up for any reason!"
They were all silent for a few moments. "We're glad you came," said Josh, after a bit.
"Us, too," said Pete. "Well, to bring our story up to date, it was just a month after that that Ron and Barbara were hired on permanently, and then they rehired us."
"With a raise in pay," remarked Evalyn.
"Yep. And they all lived happily ever," Donna concluded.
"So, everything is working out fine for the church?" questioned Josh.
"I think so," said Pete. "Ron liked an awful lot of what he heard we'd been doing, and he's managed to keep building on those things. He's continued your study of the Gospels, Josh, and he's started several home study groups. He's also appointed the Duchers to take the places on the board vacated by Carolyn and Herb,"
"Great," acknowledged Josh. "They'll help make it a good, solid board."
"They have, already. Don and Mag are still there, of course, but they don't really have much to say, considering everybody else is pretty much of one mind. Truthfully, they've mellowed a lot since the Donaldsons came. I guess they've been able to put some things back in perspective, too.”
"So the church goes on without us," murmured Evalyn.
"Yes, you guys were right. You were there to start the changes, and then God brought somebody else in to keep things going. We didn't lose anything, really. We still have you, and we still have an exciting, forward-moving church. God is pretty good!"
It was "amen" time, again.
To the Writing It Down Homepage
Leave a comment: symbios@condortales.com