The great black-backed gull stood over the nest depression, where three chicks had just hatched out of their eggs. Mama Gull was off feeding, so Dad was in charge. They always shared nesting duties, so he knew what he was doing. That doesn't mean that he wasn't bored. He closed his eyes, and gave as close to a yawn as a gull is capable of. When he opened his eyes, a bird was standing in front of him, eyeing him and the chicks at his feet.
This new bird was actually quite a bit smaller than the gull, but there was something about it that just looked... well, sinister, I think was the word the gull was searching for. It was dark-plumaged, and just had a predatory look about it. Probably it looked predatory, because it was. It was a great skua, noted for stealing food from other seabirds, and not above pilfering eggs and young of its northern avian neighbors.
The gull didn't like looking at the evil-appearing bird. He looked away, bent down, and pulled up a big bunch of grass with his beak.
"Do you know what you just did?" the skua asked.
The gull seemed frozen, the glob of grass hanging down in front of his face. "Well, we both know what you did," the skua went on. I guess I'm asking you, why did you do it?"
The gull made no reply. Well, it's hard to talk with your beak full of grass, but it's doubtful he could have found words, anyway. The skua didn't wait for an answer.
"What you are exhibiting is what we call 'displacement activity.' It has been described rather simply as what you do when you don’t do what you should do. Of course, we have to give Sigmund Freud credit for the original concept. He saw that the things that occurred in dreams were really substitutes for what the dreamer was really thinking about. In 1957, Jacques Lacan gave a more eloquent description: 'In the case of Verschiebung, displacement, the German term is closer to the idea of that veering off of signification that we see in metonymy, and which from its first appearance in Freud is represented as the most appropriate means used by the unconscious to foil censorship.' See what I mean?"
The gull had come out of his trance, and dropped the grass. "Not really."
"Well, I thought even a gull could understand that. Never mind. I'll spell in it in more fundamental terms. Basically, you were confronted with two conflicting ideas. When you saw me standing in front of you, obviously considering your newborns as my next meal, your first thought was to rush to their defense. Your second thought was that I looked pretty mean, and pretty determined, and a direct conflict with me might not be in your best interests. Turning away and pulling up grass didn't help the situation in any way, but it gave your mind something to do.
"Interestingly, Niko Tinbergen in 1953 described a very similar event. Two of your cousins -herring gulls - had nesting territories adjacent to one another. Everything was okay between them if both stayed near the center of their respective domains. When one or the other approached too near the other's nest, the initial urge was to drive off the 'intruder.' A strong alternate urge was to back up, and avoid confrontation. Do you know what the challenged gull ended up doing? His frustration turned him aside, and he ended up pulling grass! How about that!"
The gull hadn't got over his ambivalence, and was stuck in a fight-or-flight situation.
"Okay, you're not getting this. I don't know how much simpler I can put it. Try this. A displacement is an unnecessary thing done to delay doing a more difficult or unpleasant activity. Pull grass, or fight me. Or try this. Displacement is what occurs when an animal - you, in this case - ought to react in a certain way - maybe, try to chase me off - but something keeps it - you - from the logical action, and something entirely different and inappropriate occurs - in your case, grass pulling.
"It might interest you to know that gulls pulling grass is not the only manifestation of this phenomenon. The experts say that all animals do it. Do you know what gorillas are? I'm not sure I do, but I think they're like giant, very hairy humans. The big males are supposed to be even tougher than me. Yet, when confronted with a situation like yours - of two conflicting feelings both wanting to be expressed - this massive hairy dude will turn away and scratch his head! Now, what does that solve? Grass pulling, head scratching - same thing!"
It was hard to tell if the gull was (1) deep in thought, trying to understand; (2) bored silly; or (3) wanting badly to turn and pull up another clump of grass. In any event, the skua was feeling that "the teachable moment" had passed, and he was ready for brunch.
"Okay, Mr. Gull, here's where we stand. I am going to eat your little gull-lets. Your gull-lets are going down my gullet! You can try to stop me, but I really am as mean as I look. I also fight dirty. There might be quite a dust-up, but the result is inevitable.
"Another alternative is that you just walk away. Your Mrs. lays more eggs - you have a little 'family fun' in the process - then, your new family hatches out. Hopefully, I'm not around as they're growing up, and they all become fine, adult contributors to the gull community.
"This doesn't affect the Balance of Nature in any way. It doesn't even affect your species. I understand that great black-backed gulls are more common than ever, expanding their range south along the New England coast, and even moving up the St. Lawrence River and establishing colonies in the Great Lakes. Nobody's going to miss those three tiny balls of fluff, believe me.
"Now, there's a great line in Shakespeare that addresses our situation."
"Neither a borrower or a lender be," quoted the gull.
"Well, you certainly know your Shakespeare - Polonius, in 'Hamlet,' Act 2, Scene 1. Great line. Unfortunately, not relevant here. No, I was thinking of Falstaff in 'Henry V, Part I - Act 5, Scene 4: ''The better part of valor is discretion.' To put it in skua terms, you'd probably be better off to walk away now, and live to fight - or pull grass! - another day."
The skua didn't wait for a response. He rushed in, ate the three chicks, and flew off.
***
At the same time this skua-gull confrontation was playing out, in a nearby town a group of college kids had cornered the local Congressman.
"You've had a pretty good environmental record," the college spokesman began, "But you've also been a strong advocate of more oil and gas exploration and development. We think you're smarter than the average politician, so you must know that Climate Change is not a hoax or 'fake news.' You must be aware of the principal causes of climate change, and you must realize - in your heart, at least, if not in your voting record - that the Earth and Humankind really are in major jeopardy right now. You can't have it both ways, sir!'
"Can you assure us that you will lead the fight in Congress for a major climate initiative, no matter what the political cost to you, personally?"
The Congressman turned a little aside, and scratched his head.
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