"Magnus, get down here. You're a sitting duck!"
"Is that you, Jonas?" Magnus asked, but he knew it was. He took a few steps down off the height of land, and found Jonas squeezed into a cleft in the rocky cliff. "You look comfy."
"Yeah, I'm great. What do you mean, standing up there in the open. Don't you know there's a bear hunt going on?"
"Oh, is that what all the shooting, hounds baying, and humans crashing around in the brush is all about?"
Jonas snickered. "Yeah, I guess you know."
Magnus leaned against the cliff near him. "Sitting duck. Isn't that kind of an odd way to describe a bear?"
"It's just a hunting term. If a duck is flying when a hunter shoots at it, it has a chance to get away. If the hunter shoots at it while it's resting on the surface of the marsh, well...."
"Yeah, I get it. Sitting duck. Bear standing in open. Same situation. However, if you're talking about hunting skill or sportsmanship, I'm not sure a bear standing in the open is any more vulnerable than a bear stuffed into a cleft in a cliff. As I understand it, the Swedish government is allowing hunters to kill 20 percent of us ursines this year. That's one in five who are meant to meet our maker, not very good odds. This year, they're letting the hunters chase us with dogs, and they can put out food to attract the less savvy of us, which makes it pretty certain they'll get their one-in-five. I heard somebody say - before they'd killed off most of the Swedish moose - that killing a moose was about as sporting as shooting a parked car. That must be true with us, too, because - on the basis of previous hunts - they're assuming pretty close to 100 percent success for hunters with rifles, and probably close to 75 percent for those being a little more sporting, by trying to kill us with bows and arrows. That means the dumber hunters are almost as likely as the smart hunters to get their kill."
"Well, I'm still going to try to make it a little harder for them," Jonas vowed. "I'm not going to commit suicide."
"Is that what I was doing?" Magnus wondered. "Maybe so, but I just don't feel like running or hiding. I got my family safe, so if my number's up..."
"What did you do with your family?"
"I got them over the border into Norway. No bear hunting there."
"I wish I'd thought of that. We went as far into the wilderness as we could, assuming with bear hunting so easy in the more civilized areas, not a lot of hunters would feel the need to really get out in the sticks. I think Mom and the kids will probably be okay - for this year, anyway."
"Why didn't you stay with them?"
That seemed to catch Jonas by surprise. "You know, I'm not really sure. Maybe I do want to commit suicide. Why didn't you go to Norway with your family?"
"Beats me. I guess, after all is said and done, a bear just needs to be a bear."
They both pursued their own thoughts for a while. "What's it all about?" Magnus finally asked, rhetorically. "I mean, humans killed brown bears nearly to extinction, then they got all excited about saving us, and now they're blasting away, again. Have we done something wrong, maybe eaten too many tourists?"
"No, I don't recall any human-molesting episodes in the recent past."
"Well, it doesn't seem to be any management plan - like, you know, the country has reached bear carrying-capacity, and they have to cut back our numbers."
"It doesn't seem likely, does it, since I understand they're thinking about another twenty percent next year. No, I think they've just come full circle."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well, back when they brought us nearly to extinction, they made up some excuses but, really, they didn't try to hide the fact that they just wanted to kill bears, and other so-called predatory mammals. The public outcry got so loud that the government had to do something, so they started protecting us bears - but only with the mostly unspoken caveat that we would be 'managed.' Now, although the rest of Europe is preserving bears, Sweden has decided to drop all pretenses, and just admit they want to kill bears."
"You think that's it?"
"Sure. You know they even have police accompanying the hunters this season, to make sure that no 'animal rights' protestors can disrupt the plan. The head of one of the hunting clubs has even come up with a patriotic reason to kill us. It goes something like this: 'Northern Sweden would not have become habitable had it not been for bear hunting. It is a cultural heritage, and a right, which we must protect.'"
"Wow, that is patriotic. Sweden wouldn't be Sweden if they couldn't kill bears. I like it!"
Again, they quietly thought their own thoughts for a while. Finally, Jonas voiced the big question. "If we survive this season, and if they do have another hunt next year, have you thought about what you'll do?"
"Well, I've thought about it," said Magnus, "But I guess I don't have an answer."
"How about going to Norway permanently?"
"Maybe. I don't know. My Norwegian isn't that good. Besides, as refugees and immigrants have been discovering for ages, it's one thing to visit, or seek temporary asylum. It's another thing to try to move in. I mean, Norway seems to like bears, but they already have their own bears. They wouldn't necessarily feel the same about foreigners."
"Well, everybody in Europe, except Sweden, seems to want to preserve bears. Maybe one of the other countries with fewer bears would be more welcoming of new blood."
"Maybe, but the same concerns would apply. Too bad about global warming. If there was still an ice sheet between Scandinavia and Canada, I'd try to walk to North America."
"Really? That's thousands of miles!"
"I know. I'm not serious. Besides, there is no ice connection, anymore, so it doesn't matter, does it? I'm just frustrated. There really isn't anything to do but tough it out here, and take our chances. Maybe Sweden will come to its senses, and join the rest of Europe in respecting us.
"Maybe one day, the Swedish motto won't be 'the only good bear is a dead bear."
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