Drake, a handsome and well-endowed (whatever that means, to a penguin) Gentoo penguin approached Cassandra, a female of the same species. Drake seemed a little hesitant, but mumbled something to her that she didn't quite understand. Cassandra thought he might just be a little tongue-tied in her presence. She asked him to repeat himself.
"I have brought you a little token of my esteem," he mumbled. She did understand him that time, although he seemed a little mush-mouthed.
"What token of your esteem have you brought."
Drake opened his mount, and a small, black pebble fell at her feet. (Mush-mouth explained.)
"A rock? Great, Drake. What am I supposed to do with this? 'A token of your esteem?' I'm not overwhelmed. Couldn't you do better?"
Drake was a little abashed, but also indignant. "Have you looked around you, lately, at our cold, white, frozen world? A rock - any rock - is a gift beyond compare." (Literally!)
Cassandra relented, at least a bit. (I can't say she completely thawed, considering where they were.) "Okay, granted, but I've heard that human males give chocolates and flowers."
"Chocolate can kill dogs..."
"I am not a dog," she interrupted.
"I wasn't going to say you were. I was just providing information. It doesn't really matter, anyway. Do you see a lot of chocolates and bouquets around here? Besides, I have heard that human gift-giving of that sort is a thing of the past, anyway."
"Really?" She looked skeptical. "What do they do now - give rocks?"
"No, they give memes."
"Memes? What are memes?"
"I'm not entirely sure. They're something to do with Social Media."
"And what is - or, I guess 'media' are plural - what are Social Media?"
"It - they! - have something to do with the Internet."
"And the Internet is..?"
"For Pete's sake, Cassandra! I'm trying to be romantic here, and you keep shooting me down with questions I can't answer. Okay - as I understand it - a meme is s some kind of picture that has a romantic message... Well, I guess they can be a little more than 'romantic' - more sexually explicit?"
"Explicit, how?"
"Cassandra, I am not a human. I am a mere male Gentoo penguin, who finds you amazingly attractive. You really turn me on!"
Cassandra gave him a close look, then scanned the landscape around them. "Drake, there are approximately 2,000 Gentoo penguins on this ice floe. We all look alike. Even the boys and the girls look alike. How can I 'turn you on?'"
Drake grinned at her (a little lustily, she thought). "Who can explain romance? What is the basic of physical attraction? This has puzzled the gods since the beginning of time. Nevertheless, it exists, and I would like to make you mine."
She gave him another long look. "Oh, what the hell!" she said, finally. "What else is there to do on this god-forsaken piece of frozen landscape?”
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