When Dwayne returned home the next evening, he was more than a little surprised to find Emma asleep on his couch. She opened her eyes when he sat down beside her. "I've got troubles, Dwayne."
He helped her sit up. "What kind of troubles, my lovely little friend?"
"I can't sleep."
He looked at her closely. "You were asleep just now."
"And that's the first time all day. I tried napping after our busy day yesterday, but every time I closed my eyes, I dreamed about being tied up. I'd wake myself up somehow, so nothing happened in the dream, but the next time I closed my eyes, I was tied up, again. That happened three or four times before I decided to come and talk to you about it. I was sleeping okay here, for a few minutes."
Dwayne ran his hand through her hair, and looked her over, closely. "I guess it's logical, Em. Not nice, but logical. Everything that happened to you happened because you were tied up, and couldn't do anything to help yourself. Hopefully, your dreams won't cover the things that actually occurred - I think maybe we helped that a little yesterday, with our talking about the difference between sex and what Wine was putting you through. I don't think you slept through it all?"
"No, I remember, and I think maybe my brain is getting that part. But I'm almost afraid to close my eyes, because this tying up image comes back."
Dwayne thought about that for a minute or two. "Short of just waiting for your brain to give up that particular scenario, the only thing I can think of is to make your subconscious think of being tied up as a good thing, rather than a bad. That should really jolt Harry Wine out of your head."
She looked at him as if he was crazy. "How can being tied up helpless be good?"
"It can, and I think I can show you with a little experiment. It may be a little scary for you at first, but I think you know how much I love you, and I wouldn't do anything to ever hurt you. And if we start, you can stop me any time you need to."
She still looked puzzled, and reluctant. "You're not planning to tie me up, are you?"
"No tying up, no removal of clothes. It will all be kind of a pantomime to contrast with what happened to you. Want to try?"
"I guess. Even though I do trust you, I'm a little scared. But I do want to be able to sleep."
"Okay. Come with me." He took her hand. She went with him a little reluctantly, but he took her into the bedroom, and sat her on the edge of the mattress. He went back to the kitchen, and brought a chair. He placed it in front of her, and sat a long arm's length away.
"Okay, Em. Here's the basic premise. Did you know that some couples - husbands and wives, sometimes good friends - tie up their partner when they make love?" Her expression said clearly that, no, they didn't. "Emma, hard as it is to believe, there is many a beautiful child wandering around in this world who was conceived when Mom - or Dad - was tied up on the bed."
"Dwayne Hayden, I don't know what you're up to, and what this is about, but why would anybody purposely let themselves give up control in that way?"
"Okay, Em, in the interest of complete truthfulness, I have not personally witnessed such a thing - although I'm not sure I've ever witnessed anybody's sexual activities, of any kind. I have not partaken of any such activity myself, my entire sex life being limited to a little bit of silly boy-girl interaction in high school. Having said that, I do have it on good authority that such happens, and probably happens regularly.
"Why would they do it? If I imagine myself in such a partnership, the thoughts that come to my mind are that it could be sexy and fun. Now, sex is usually thought of as a man and a woman... well, coupling, joining their bodies together. That's true, and that sex is necessary if you're planning to make a baby, or just complete a nice period of making love. But 'making love' is a lot more than that. Couples can spend hours loving, touching, making their partner feel especially sexy, and just enjoying each other's bodies. They don't need to tie each other up for that - what's called foreplay. But maybe they want to put even more excitement into it - maybe they want their lover to try some things they've never tried before, but which they're a little reluctant or embarrassed to suggest themselves. They're not really helpless - all they have to do is tell their lover to let them loose, or not do a particular thing, and he or she will quit. They love and care about each other. But while knowing that you can stop things any time you want, you can pretend you're helpless - while your partner does things to make you feel especially good - much longer than if it was your decision, alone. A good partner will 'pretend' right along with you, for as long as you both like the result. Does this make sense to you?"
Emma stared at him, a little open-mouthed. "I guess. I mean, I'm 18, and I never kissed a boy until you - rather recently - and I've never really thought about sex, making love, and the difference between them. Let's say I understand. What would you do now, and how would it help me sleep?"
"Okay, I can answer those questions. What I propose we do now is pretend to repeat the basic things that were done to you..."
"Dwayne!"
"Wait a minute, Em. I said no ropes, no taking off clothes, no picture taking, no gag, obviously no drugs. But I think you'll see that two lovers can start out similarly, but get to an amazingly different place. Once your mind can see the alternative, I don't think it will worry about the tying up part - even if you and any future partner never actually tie one another up. Want to try?"
"I'm worried."
"I know, but remember nothing is actually going to happen. We're just going to pantomime things."
"And I can stop us at any time?"
"You can, but just remember I love you dearly, and that I'm pretty sure this will help, so don't chicken out too soon.
"Okay, we're starting. In the original you're drugged and can't prevent your clothes being taken off. But here, it's your lover sitting in front of you, and you are eagerly waiting for him to undress you. You probably help him to make it go a little faster. He can't help looking a little lustful as he sees your lovely body exposed, but he also smiles happily at you. He has you stand up - here, stand up by the bed - and he takes a little time to remove the rest of your clothing. You're standing there naked, while he obviously admires what he sees. You're not worried, or afraid, or embarrassed, because you're making love.
"Okay, he helps you get onto the bed, and move over into the center." (They did that.) "He probably kisses you pretty soundly about then - it would be hard to resist the impulse. While he's doing it, he brings one of your arms straight out to the edge of the bed, and ties it there." (He pretended to do that, and she let him, although she was obviously a little concerned.) "No, leave your arm extended, like it's tied there. Your lover then walks around the bed, stretches out your other arm, and ties it in place. He admires his handiwork, while you smile in anticipation of what comes next. Just like he couldn't resist kissing your lips, he finds he wants to kiss your breasts. You can't stop him, but you don't want to. He caresses you, and lets his hands slide down across your belly, stopping near the top of your hips. He enjoys a long look, and maybe a kiss or caress, then turns his attention to your legs. He eases them apart, tying each in a corner of the bed - go on, Em, open your legs like they're tied. You're helpless now - in pretty much the same position and condition you were in when you were assaulted - but nothing's the same. When your lover begins to move his hands, and maybe his lips, over parts of you that are most secret, you feel anticipation, but really good anticipation. He may handle your body in various, very intimate ways for a long time, maybe a half-hour or more. You're feeling a lot of strong pressures and emotions, but they're all good and exciting.
"At some point, he leaves you helpless on the bed, and goes into the bathroom. When he comes out, he's as naked as you are. He climbs up on the bed beside you, and continues to caress and massage you, until you feel like you might explode. Together, you decide then if you want to stay tied, or want to be free to better return his favors. Whichever you decide, you come together then, and stay until you are both happily exhausted. You probably fall asleep in each other's arms."
Dwayne had been walking around the bed as he talked. Now, he settled on the edge, and looked at his beautiful friend, on his bed, fully clothed, with no fetters anywhere on her lovely self. At some point, she had brought her arms in against her body, but her legs were still a little spread. She hadn't said a word, or opened her eyes since he sat down, but if she'd been asleep, she came awake as he moved her legs together. She still didn't speak.
Dwayne moved up the bed a little closer to her. "Hello, my darling friend. Are you okay?"
Her eyes finally focused on him. "Can it really be like that, Dwayne?"
He wasn't sure what she meant. "Do you mean will that stop your nightmares?"
"No. I mean is that what making love is really like, the way you made me feel?"
That caught him a little off guard. "As I said earlier, Em, I've never made love like that. If the right people are making it with one another, I don't see why not? Did it feel good to you?"
She did finally give him a good smile. "It felt real, Dwayne. I know you didn't touch me - you weren't even very close to me most of the time - but it's like I can still feel your hands on my... where you touched me first. And your lips on..." She didn't finish that thought. "And near the end, you said something about feeling like I was about to explode. And I did feel that way. I was a little sad that we stopped, because I really wanted to feel the very end!"
Her talk was giving Dwayne some rather pronounced feelings of his own. Although he wanted to do just the opposite, he thought it might be wise to get up off the bed. He did, then turned around and smiled at her. "I think what we've done may actually work, Em. We may be well on our way to getting rid of Harry Wine, once and for all."
She returned a wistful smile, but pretty clearly she wasn't thinking about Harry Wine at that moment.
"We better get you home soon, before your parents begin to suspect something's going on. Do you want something to eat?"
She reluctantly got off the bed. "Why don't you make us a Mexican omelet. They're not too filling, and are really good." She headed into the bathroom, while he got out the omelet fixings. She came back and sat by him while he cooked. When he brought the omelets to the table, and sat down beside her, she put her hand over his.
"Dwayne, I think I'm ready to do the real thing. Maybe not tied up - although that might be okay, too - but I mean take off all our clothes, get in your bed, and really make love to one another. Do you want to, and do you think we're ready?"
He took a bite of his omelet. It was good, but he wouldn't have said he was very interested in it at that moment. "I want to, with all my being. Do I think we're ready? I guess two things come to mind. First, I never dreamed what we just did would be that sexy! I really felt that we were doing all those things - right then, in real life! From what you've said, you obviously felt it the same way. I think we're both on an emotional high right now. I don't want us to come down too far, but I think we should relax for a day or so, and plan out exactly when and how we want it to be. Since it's going to be the first time for both of us - not counting our erotic preview, just now - it may not be perfect, but let's make it so memorable that we never will forget one detail of our 'first.'
"Second, do you think you're really back, now? I don't mean that you have every memory back, and everything you know sorted out - that may take some time - but do you really feel like Emma Graham, now? When you think something, or when you decide to do something, do you feel like it's the old Emma - with modifications for age and experiences, of course?"
She kept her hand on his, and took a moment to put her thoughts together. "Taking the second point first, yes I feel like the old Emma. We know all about my life before my kidnapping, and there's nothing to worry about there. We just need to be sure we're through the rape, for good. Andi and I may need to sort out a few things, but I think that's different.
"To your first point, we could just crawl back in bed now, complete the 'therapy session,' and then start planning for our real 'first time.' That sounds awfully nice to me. However, I also think you're right that we should take a little time to stabilize before taking the next steps. Oh, I hate myself for saying that! I'm not really feeling that practical, right now. But take me home, if you must."
He did, but there were a couple of close encounters before he finally let her out of the truck at Maud's. He didn't go in with her, feeling she and Maud probably had some things to discuss.
***
Emma and Maud hugged. "Hi, daughter. With Dwayne, again?"
"Yes. I'm sorry I didn't leave a note. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision, I didn't even tell him I was coming over."
"Do you want to tell me about it?"
"I do, very much." Emma described her dream problem, and Dwayne's "therapy."
"Wow, that's a new one, Em. I doubt that one is included in the psychologists' handbook of accepted treatments."
Emma giggled. "Probably not. The thing is, Maud, I think it may actually work. I know I wasn't really tied down, or naked, or in any danger, but Dwayne's talking really made me feel that I was helpless - and I didn't care! Even when he said things - like I couldn't move away from him when he touched me - in my imagination, I just let him.
"What's crazy, Maud, is that he didn't touch me - he wasn't even near me. He was walking around the room - but I felt everything he 'did.' It was like he was really making love to me - I mean, in person, right then! At one point, he suggested that I was beginning to feel like I might explode - and I did feel it. When he stopped talking, I didn't want him to. I wanted to explode!"
"My word!" said Maud, maybe more to herself than to Emma. "A man who can take a girl close to orgasm by just talking. That's a talent!"
"What are you talking about, Maud?"
"Oh, I was just thinking that you may be right. As unconventional as the approach was, it might have been just the thing to get those horrible events out of your mind, replaced by something a whole lot nicer. I sure hope so."
"I think so. Oh, and there's more. I want Dwayne to really make love to me, so I told him. He said he'd like to, too, but we should wait a bit, and plan how we really want it to happen. He also said that I should really be sure that I was Emma again, and I was thinking the way the 'real Emma' would think. I told him that I was okay with planning, as long as he didn't take too long about it. I also said that I'm pretty sure 'Emma' is back. There are still memories to resurface, but - now that we're getting Harry Wine out of the picture - I don't think there are going to be any big surprises. What do you think, Maud?"
Maud looked to be thinking. "I guess you are asking about two different questions. Well, I think Dwayne's answer - or stipulation - is a good one. You're both probably pretty excited right now, after your demonstration. It'll probably make it a little easier to plan if you wait a bit. And I think you're right about 'the real Emma' being back.
"Now, the second question is, should you and Dwayne make love? Well, you're 18, so you're 'legal,' as far as the law is concerned. You have absolutely no experience with love, romance, and sex, and you're planning to jump into the deep end of the pool, so to speak, with only a general idea of how to swim. That could be a consideration, and that's a really good reason for you and Dwayne to take your time, and both think and talk it out. I expect that Dwayne will be a good teacher. He seems to care pretty deeply for you.
"When I was growing up, there was a lot of talk about girls 'saving themselves' until they were married. It was kind of silly, in a way, because girls were supposed to stay virgins, but boys were supposed to unvirginate as many girls as they possibly could. That never really worked. If you were following religious teaching, or if your family had a certain moral outlook, then people - both men and women - might wait, but that was always a personal decision. There is absolutely no law or universal agreement that sex is limited to marriage. I don't really like the modern idea that seems to be that sex is general recreation - something you do on a date instead of going out to eat, or going to a movie. But, again, that's just my opinion.
"So, Em, I guess I feel that if you feel ready, if you and Dwayne talk out the details, and if Dwayne comes up with some protection so you don't have babies before you want them, go for it. I think Dwayne is a very nice man, who loves you a lot, and that you two have already started to work out a nice relationship."
"Thanks, Maud. How do you think Sam will feel about it?"
"I think he will feel that his 'little girl' is moving too fast, and he might have some words with you - or, more likely with Dwayne - about it. He just wants the best for you, and he feels particularly strongly after what you've been through the past two years. I'll talk to him. He'll be okay.”
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